Crimson Dreams Sexis Completed
by bikandu
Summary: This is the 2nd story in a Sexis trilogy. Alexis is haunted by her past and Sonny tries to help.
1. Chapter 1 of 3

This is the sequel to "First Love Lost" which told the story of how Alexis found and lost her first love. It is set in 2002 and picks up immediately after the events of "First Love Lost".   
  
I think this story stands on its own so you really don't have to have read the first story, but it will make more sense if you do.  
  
________________________  
  
  
  
CHAPTER 1  
  
"I don't want to hear excuses, Benny. Just get it done!" Sonny slammed the phone down. He was angry. How could an old woman manage to escape prison and just disappear? He bit his lip in frustration. Because she was Helena Cassadine and she was the devil. The fact that she had escaped prison didn't surprise him. He had no faith in law enforcement in general and the PCPD in particular. What he found frustrating, what was making him angry was that his people had no clue where she was either. He liked to know where is enemies were. He needed to know where Helena was. She threatened the people he cared about, Laura, Luke and their children, all of the Spencers, and Alexis.   
  
Sonny began to pace the room. Face it. It's really all about Alexis. It was the danger to Alexis that caused his anger and frustration. Why hadn't he just taken care of Helena himself? He stopped pacing. Alexis didn't want that and he couldn't face losing her friendship if he disregarded her wishes.   
  
He walked over to his balcony. The spring day had been warm, but all the warmth had left with the sun. It was evening now and the night air was cold. He stopped at the glass doors and looked out on the harbor below. He thought about his friendship with Alexis. Friendship was such an inadequate word for what they shared. Laughter, pain, comfort, trust, they had shared all those things. It was much more than friendship, but he sensed it was much less than what it could be, what it should be.   
  
Helena would not hurt Alexis again! That old woman had caused too much pain. Pain, that couldn't be forgotten, couldn't be healed. Sonny's thoughts were interrupted by pounding on his door. "Sonny, it's Kristina. Let me in. I need your help!" He headed for the door summoning all his patience. He really wasn't up to a visit from Alexis' sister.   
  
She burst through the door as soon as he turned the knob. She started to babble. "I know you don't like me. I don't really like you. I don't think you're good for my sister, but I don't know what else to do. Alexis says you're a good man. She's a good judge of people, most of the time. I hope she's right about you. Anyway I don't have a choice. Someone's got to do something and soon!"  
  
"What's wrong?! Is Alexis all right?" Sonny was worried.  
  
"No! Alexis is not all right. She's lost!"  
  
"She's lost?" Sonny quickly stuck his head out the door. "Johnny where's Alexis?"  
  
Johnny snapped to attention. "She's inside the penthouse boss. What's wrong?"  
  
"I don't know, maybe nothing. Stay there!" Sonny closed the door. He returned to Kristina. "Alexis is in the penthouse."  
  
"She's not physically lost. Her soul is lost. Or it will be soon. I'm very worried"  
  
Sonny sighed. Don't lose control Corinthos. You can be nice. "We aren't talking about Pluto again are we?"  
  
Kristina began to pace in front of him. "No, it's not about Pluto. Pluto has nothing to do with this, Venus might. Yes, it might have to do with Venus. We were talking about . . ." She stopped pacing and approached Sonny. "Oh none of that matters. It's her soul that's in danger. She's falling into darkness and I can't get her back!"  
  
Sonny stared at her, bewildered. Kristina was obviously upset. Like Alexis, she tended to babble when she was nervous or upset. Except when Alexis babbled, there was some intelligence behind it. If you listened closely, you could follow that brilliant stream of consciousness to wondrous destinations. When Alexis babbled, Sonny found himself smiling. When Kristina babbled, he found his head hurt. He pinched the bridge of his nose to ease the pain. She was upset about Alexis. Something must be wrong.   
  
"She's not physically lost right? Kristina, where is she exactly?"  
  
"Physically?"  
  
"Yes physically!"   
  
"She's out on the balcony. She's been there since sunset."  
  
"Sunset was three hours ago. It's 40 degrees out. Why didn't you bring her in?"  
  
"I tried! She won't talk to me and she won't come in. She's falling into darkness and I can't reach her!"  
  
Sonny strode into the hallway. "Johnny, go to my kitchen and make some tea!"  
  
Johnny headed toward penthouse four. "What's wrong? Is Ms Davis all right?"  
  
"That's what I'm going to find out. Go!"   
  
Sonny opened the door to penthouse two. Alexis was standing in the middle of her balcony. She wore a cranberry blouse and black tailored slacks. The matching jacket, that could have provided some protection from the cold, was neatly folded on the couch. Her arms were wrapped around herself. She stared into blackness. Sonny opened the glass doors and stepped out into the night air.  
  
Alexis was drowning in blood, frightening images from her past flooded her mind.   
  
A child's view of her mother's blood . . . A ruby cascade that gushed from the throat . . . Tiny hands that were soaked in it. How could hands so small even hope to stop the flow? "Momma wake up! I can't make it stop! Momma, please make it stop!" She couldn't stop it. It never stopped.  
  
It was a crimson pool around Christian. "Alexis you are really here?"   
  
"Yes I'm here. It will be okay!" So much blood . . . It oozed between adult fingers. It drenched the carpet. Apply direct pressure to stop the bleeding. You've got to stop the bleeding!  
  
"Please, I do not have much time. Before God, right now, let me be your husband."   
  
Too much blood, it couldn't be stopped. It dripped from her hands . . .   
  
. . . hands that were scraped from being thrown to cold concrete. Gunfire reverberating . . . Sonny's body convulsing with each impact . . . Blood streaming from gaping wounds . . . Crawling through scarlet stains in the snow . . . Stop the bleeding! Please let me stop the bleeding!   
  
"Sonny, stay with me. Don't go Sonny!" So much blood . . .   
  
"Alexis, can you hear me?"  
  
She was staring straight ahead, gazing through unseeing eyes. It was cold. Sonny shivered. Alexis did not. She wasn't connected to her body. Kristina was right. Alexis was falling into darkness. Sonny knew darkness.   
  
"Oh God, Alexis!" He stripped off his suit coat and gently covered her shoulders.   
  
She was oblivious to his actions, her mind lost in a torrent of blood she couldn't staunch.   
  
"Alexis, look at me!" Sonny held her face in his hands and searched it for a sign that he was breaking through the darkness. Her cheeks were ice. "Alexis, it's Sonny. Talk to me Alexis!"   
  
"Sonny?"   
  
"Yes Alexis, it's Sonny." She was coming back. His fear eased a little.  
  
"Sonny, you're alive? You didn't die?"  
  
"I'm alive Alexis. I'm right here." He tried to make eye contact.  
  
"You didn't die?" She was trying to convince herself.  
  
"No, I'm not dead. I'm right here, with you."  
  
Alexis blinked and her eyes began to focus on his face. "Sonny, how do you endure it?" Her voice was quiet, flat.  
  
"Endure what Alexis?" If he could keep her talking, he could bring her all the way back.  
  
"All the blood."  
  
"Wh-what?" His chest tightened. Her words took the air from his lungs. His hands dropped to his sides. Where has the darkness taken you?  
  
"How do you endure all the blood? Lily's blood, Brenda's, the blood of your children. How do you go on?" Alexis' voice was devoid of emotion. Her head dropped and she stared at the ground. She was still in her own private hell. Sonny's voice was a small candle in the darkness.   
  
"With . . . " His voice was coarse. "With the help of friends . . . " He swallowed hard. " With your help."   
  
She looked up at him. "I helped you?" The flatness in her voice was diminishing. She wanted to believe him.  
  
His voice grew gentle. "You help me every day. You listen. You make me laugh. You're there when I need you. You saved my life, remember? When I was shot, you stayed with me. You stopped the bleeding. Without you, I would have died."   
  
"I stopped the bleeding?" She didn't seem to believe him. "No. I couldn't. It never stops."   
  
"Yes you stopped the bleeding. You never left me. You talked to me . . . " His voice began to crack. "The sound of your voice kept me alive."   
  
"I did stop the bleeding." She believed him. "Why couldn't I stop it before? Why couldn't I save the others?"  
  
Others? How much death had she seen in her life? "I don't know, honey. We have to get you warm. Come on let's go inside." He placed his hands on her shoulders and started to direct her into the penthouse. Kristina was pacing on the other side of the glass doors. Alexis saw her and turned away.   
  
"No. I can't do this anymore. I'm too tired. I'll just stay here and rest. I'll be stronger tomorrow."  
  
Sonny looked at Kristina. She must have been grilling Alexis again, dredging up bad memories, picking at old wounds in the guise of finding enlightenment. That girl had no clue how deep those wounds went, or the kind of damage she could do by reopening them.   
  
"Honey, it's too cold for you to stay out here. Come back to my place. You can rest there. Let me take care of you." He held her close as he guided her into the penthouse. She didn't oppose him.  
  
Kristina watched them through the glass doors. Sonny was coaxing Alexis back to reality. His touch was gentle, his face full of concern. She had never seen such tenderness. He truly cared for her sister. She was seeing a side of Sonny that he showed very few people. The side he showed Alexis. She wondered if he showed it to anyone else. As the doors opened, she moved to join them. She wanted to comfort her sister. One look from Sonny stopped her cold. That was the face that ordered men's deaths. She was sure of it. He looked back at Alexis and kindness returned.  
  
"Come on honey, Johnny made tea for us." His touch was almost a caress as he guided Alexis across the hall.  
  
Johnny jumped off the couch as the door to the penthouse opened. Sonny had Alexis wrapped up in his suit coat. She seemed detached. "What happened?"  
  
"Johnny get some blankets out of the closet." Johnny immediately headed for the closet. "Where's the tea?" Sonny eased Alexis to the couch.  
  
"It's steeping on the counter." Johnny handed Sonny the blankets.   
  
"Put the tea on the coffee table." Sonny began to wrap the blankets around Alexis.   
  
"Okay"  
  
"Johnny, I don't want Kristina to disturb us. Stop her at HER door. I don't want her banging on mine."  
  
"Yes sir!" Johnny headed out the door. What had put Ms Davis in such a state and what did Kristina have to do with it? He hoped Sonny could fix it. Johnny liked Ms Davis.  
  
"Come on honey, we've got to warm you up" Sonny sat with Alexis, coaxing her to drink. She took several large sips of the hot tea. She was beginning to reconnect with her body. She started to shiver.   
  
"Oh I'm so cold. How did I get so cold?" Her voice had taken on her natural inflection. She was almost back. She took another sip of tea.  
  
"You went out on the balcony without a coat. I thought they taught you better at Harvard?" He hoped a little teasing would bring her the rest of the way.   
  
She looked up from her cup and gave him a pained look. "Don't blame Harvard. I never took Common Sense 101. It was an elective." She held the warm teacup in both hands. The shivering was subsiding. "I was on the balcony?"  
  
"Yeah, for about three hours. Ever since the sun set."  
  
"The sunset . . . " Images flashed through her mind. The blood red sky . . . her mother's throat . . . the crimson pool where Christian died . . . scarlet snow surrounding Sonny . . . She shuddered.  
  
"Alexis? Alexis!" Sonny searched her eyes for some sign she hadn't slipped back into darkness.  
  
"I'm still here." She gave him a small smile. "I had a flashback." She turned her face away and looked down.  
  
"Yeah I think so. Was it about your mother?"  
  
"Yes." Not a lie, but not the truth, she wasn't ready to tell the whole truth.  
  
  
  
Alexis was quiet. She stared directly ahead. Sonny watched her closely. She was still with him. She just wasn't ready to talk. After a few minutes she drew in a deep breath. "I couldn't stop the bleeding. My hands were too small."  
  
"When your mother died?"  
  
"Yes, I wanted to save her, but my hands were too small and I couldn't stop it."  
  
Helena Cassadine had slit her mother's throat. There was nothing Alexis, the child could do. There was nothing anyone could do. Sonny had seen that type of injury. It was horrendous and irreparable. Her mother would not have died instantly. There would have been the struggle to breathe, the inability to speak, and her final breaths would have bubbled through the gash in her neck. It made him sick thinking of it. Helena had inflicted that brutal wound in front of a child. She had wanted Alexis to witness it.  
  
"You were a child, Alexis. There was nothing you could have done." She carried so much guilt. As if she were responsible for her mother's death, for his getting shot, for whatever secret horror she wasn't ready to share yet. "You know that don't you?"  
  
"I know." she didn't sound convinced.  
  
"Do you know what set it off?"  
  
"I was watching the sunset. Did you see it tonight?"  
  
"No. I had some business with Benny." It was now more important than ever that Benny find where Helena was hiding.  
  
"It was beautiful. I love the sunset you know?" She looked at him with a shy smile.  
  
"You do? I didn't know that." He tilted his head. His dimples flashed.  
  
"Yeah, I like to watch the colors change from gold to pink to violet. It's beautiful, my favorite time of day."  
  
"What happened tonight?"  
  
"What happened?" Her eyes returned to the tea. "Well, gold changed to pink. Pink changed to red. Red turned to . . . " She tried to swallow, her throat had gone dry. "The red turned to blood." Her voice was small.  
  
"Your mother's blood?"   
  
She nodded, her eyes focused on the ripples in the tea. "Her blood turned into . . . " She couldn't talk about Christian. It was years ago. It was as if it were yesterday. The pain was raw.  
  
"My blood, you were remembering when I got shot." His voice was quiet. He was ashamed that he was partly responsible for bringing her more pain.  
  
"Yes" Another half truth. "It just kept cycling, one image blending into the next. I couldn't stop it. I couldn't save them."  
  
She keeps speaking in plurals. Who else couldn't she save? Sonny touched her shoulder. "You saved me."   
  
"Yeah, you broke the cycle." She looked up at him. "You didn't die." She remembered him on the balcony. He pulled her out of her downward spiral and brought her back to reality. She had sensed his presence in the darkness . . . "Oh God Sonny I'm so sorry!"  
  
"Sorry? Sorry about what?"  
  
"Lily, Brenda, the blood of your children . . . I am so very sorry! I must have hurt you terribly."  
  
"You didn't hurt me." Alexis was concerned for him! She had just relived, in vivid detail, what were probably the most horrifying events in her life and she was concerned that she might have hurt him. This woman amazed him. "Alexis, you've never hurt me."  
  
  
  
"Still . . . "  
  
"You didn't hurt me. I don't think you're capable of knowingly hurting anyone. Don't worry about it." He smiled, then reached down and gently grabbed her feet and lifted them onto the couch, turning her body.  
  
"What are you doing?" Surprise and a little concern showed on her face.  
  
"You need some rest. You're going to nap on my couch." His dimples were growing.  
  
"What makes you think that's going to happen?" She was getting feisty. That was a good sign.  
  
"Are you ready to get interrogated by your sister?"  
  
"No." She loved her sister, but the thought of talking to her tonight wasn't comforting.  
  
"Do you want me to put you to bed in one of the rooms upstairs?" He gave her the full dimpled grin.  
  
"No!" Sonny and bedrooms must be avoided at all costs.  
  
"Then we are left with the couch. Now lie back and let me cover you up." He gave her shoulder a gentle push and she fell back, her head coming to rest on the arm of the couch.  
  
"You are enjoying this!"  
  
"Close your eyes counselor." His hand touched her cheek. It sent a tiny shiver through them both. 


	2. Chapter 2 of 3

CRIMSON DREAMS - 2/3   
  
CHAPTER 2  
  
Johnny stood at his post outside of penthouse two. He was worried about Ms Davis. He liked her. She was good people. She treated him with respect and she was always kind. She often invited him into her penthouse, to have a bite to eat or watch a movie with her sister, or just to get him to sit down for a little while. He always declined. It was his job to protect her. He didn't want anything to interfere with that. Sonny would never forgive him if he let his guard down and something terrible happened. He wouldn't forgive himself. But something had happened. And it seemed that Kristina had done the damage.   
  
The door to penthouse four opened and Sonny motioned him inside. "Did Kristina give you any trouble?" Sonny whispered.  
  
Johnny looked over at the couch and spied a sleeping Alexis. "She tried to come over but I persuaded her that it would be better if she didn't."  
  
"Good!" Sonny put his hand on Johnny's shoulder. "I'm going to have a talk with Kristina. I want you to sit with Alexis until I come back." He started out the door. "Johnny?"  
  
"Yes sir?"  
  
"Come get me if anything happens."  
  
"Will do sir."  
  
  
  
Kristina was still pacing the floor. She wanted to see Alexis. She tried to go to Sonny's but Johnny stood blocking the doorway.   
  
"Johnny, let me by." She placed her hands on his chest and pushed.  
  
"I can't let you do that Miss." His voice was calm, kind even, but he didn't move an inch.  
  
"Please, my sister needs me!"  
  
"I'm sorry Ms Cassadine, but I think you have it backwards."   
  
"What?"   
  
"Ms Davis doesn't need you. You need her. You need your big sister to tell you everything is okay. That whatever you did to cause this is forgiven. But she can't help you right now. Right now she needs help. Mr. Corinthos is helping her."  
  
"You don't understand. Alexis is in pain . . . "  
  
"Mr. Corinthos understands pain. He'll know what to do. You can help by leaving them alone for now."  
  
Kristina backed up and closed the door. Was Johnny right? Had she caused Alexis fall into darkness? They were talking about Sonny, about love, about Alexis' first love. Alexis' demeanor changed at the mention of her first love. Sadness settled around her. It was a tangible burden that weighed on her. She had whispered something, a name? "He died." That's all she would say. Then she had walked out to the balcony.  
  
"Oh God! I did cause this! I don't know exactly what I did, but I did something to cause my sister pain, horrible, mind shattering pain." Kristina stopped pacing and headed toward the door. "I have got to try to fix it!"  
  
As Kristina reached for the doorknob, the door opened and she was eye to eye with Sonny Corinthos.  
  
"We need to talk." Sonny strode into the room. "I need to know what happened."  
  
"I need to see my sister!" Kristina moved toward the door. Sonny caught her by the arm.  
  
"Alexis is sleeping. She needs to rest. Don't disturb her."  
  
"Is she okay? What happened?"  
  
"That's what I'd like to know. What did you dredge up?"  
  
"What are you talking about? I don't know what happened. I told you everything I know when I came and got you. Do you know what happened to my sister on the balcony?"  
  
"Alexis had a flashback."  
  
"A flashback? Alexis has flashbacks?"  
  
"She hasn't had one in almost a year. Something had to trigger it. What did you do?"  
  
"Why didn't she tell me she has flashbacks? She should have told me. I could have helped her."   
  
"I don't think you could have helped her, Kristina." Sonny was trying to control his temper.  
  
"How do you know? I could have. We could have talked it through . . . "  
  
"Kristina, you didn't help her tonight. Something you did or said triggered this. I need to know what it was. Tell me what happened."  
  
She was uncharacteristically quiet. They had been talking about loving Sonny. Alexis made it absolutely clear that she was never again to talk to Sonny about that subject.   
  
Kristina told Sonny that Alexis was in love with him, before Alexis had a chance to say it out loud to herself. But that wasn't it. Alexis was mad at her for that, but she didn't go catatonic, so her love life with Sonny wasn't the cause. They had talked of danger. Alexis had talked of love . . . Her first love had died. Alexis didn't want to share. Should Kristina respect that or should she tell Sonny everything that happened. She needed to talk to her sister.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
Sonny was losing patience. Kristina did have insight. She was absolutely right about Alexis. She had fallen into darkness. The problem was, Kristina wielded that insight like an ax, causing damage everywhere. She had somehow cut Alexis open tonight.   
  
He drew in a deep breath. "Kristina, have you ever seen someone you love die?" He stared straight ahead, his mind drawn back to the images of his wife's death. Lily was smiling at him, one hand waving, the other touching their unborn child, then the explosion. "Have them ripped from you violently?"  
  
Kristina stared at Sonny. His expression screamed pain. He wasn't talking about Alexis. This was something personal, something that happened to him. 'Mr. Corinthos understands pain' that's what Johnny had said. She made her decision. The events of the night spewed out.  
  
"She talked about Jax and the helicopter crash, about Chloe and our mother. She said she brought risk to everyone around her. She was upset about that, but that wasn't the big upset. The big upset was something different. I'm not really sure what it was. She wouldn't talk about it. She never wants to talk about the important stuff. She got so sad, Sonny. You could see it weigh her down. All this sadness just came over her and I swear I saw her stagger from the weight of it. But she wouldn't talk about it . . . "   
  
"Kristina!' Sonny was exasperated, trying to follow her train of thought hurt. She was so young, much younger than her years. He was constantly amazed that such a young soul could be a Cassadine.   
  
"What!"  
  
"What were you talking about just before she got sad?"  
  
"She said she had been in love three times and I asked her about her first love. But she didn't want to talk about it. I just wanted to talk over old times, old loves you know . . . "  
  
"What did Alexis say?"  
  
"He died."  
  
"That's all."  
  
"No." She looked down. Now Kristina began to hug herself. Sonny had seen Alexis assume that same posture earlier in the evening. The way they each reacted to anguish, it must be genetic.  
  
"What else?"   
  
"She started to cry and she said . . . " Kristina's own eyes were clouding. Her face mirrored Alexis' expressions earlier in the day. "She said 'Love is difficult for me and it never turns out well'." Kristina looked up at him. "Sonny I think she's afraid to love again." 


	3. Chapter 3 of 3

CRIMSON DREAMS 3/3   
  
CHAPTER 3  
  
Johnny sat across from a sleeping Alexis. She had pulled herself into a ball and was leaning against the arm of the couch. She looked tiny, fragile.   
  
Johnny couldn't believe this was Alexis Davis. She was a fierce attorney. He had seen veteran cops cringe at the site of her. She would sweep into the PCPD and find every weakness in the cases they prepared against Sonny. They couldn't slip anything by her, and when she found weaknesses she attacked. She was relentless. Sonny had spent very little time in lock-up since Alexis Davis became his attorney. Johnny didn't see the attorney now. He saw a small child. A child so frightened that she couldn't get small enough to hide from the horrors in her mind.   
  
"How's she doing?" Sonny whispered as he entered.  
  
"She's been sleeping the whole time." Johnny stood.  
  
"Good!" Sonny walked Johnny to the door. "I don't think Kristina will try to see Alexis tonight but I want you to make sure she doesn't."  
  
"Sure thing." At the doorway Johnny looked back at Alexis. "Boss, is she gonna be okay?"  
  
"I think so. I hope so." Sonny planned to move heaven and earth if he had to, to make it happen.  
  
"She's a good lady!"  
  
"Yes she is, the best!" Sonny closed the door and returned to a sleeping Alexis.  
  
It was an old vinyl record, full of scratches, but the beauty of the voice shown through the pops and hisses when she played it. It was the only recording Alexis had of her mother's voice. Its sound comforted her. She always heard it when her mother visited her in her dreams.  
  
"Momma I'm sorry."  
  
"Oh my sweet, beautiful child." Her mother's long white gown radiated. Her pale features resembled her daughters'. She was beautiful. Alexis adored her.  
  
"I tried momma. I tried my best."  
  
"I know you did dear. There was nothing you could do. There was nothing anyone could do."  
  
"Why did you leave me? I needed you momma!"  
  
"It wasn't my choice dear. I wanted to stay with you, with Kristina. I love you both so much."  
  
A hand touched her hair. She glanced up into dark eyes framed in a pale face. "Christian!" She threw her arms around him. Sam Cooke sang:  
  
You thrill me.  
  
I know you thrill me.  
  
Darling you thrill me.   
  
Honest you do.  
  
She began to cry. "I should never have loved you."  
  
"Don't say that." His ashen hands were gently brushing her back.  
  
"I am the reason you died!" She sobbed. "Helena killed you because of me. If I didn't love you, you would still be alive."  
  
"I would have died without you! Do you think if I had known what would happen, I'd have done it differently? I was given a choice. I wouldn't give you up. I couldn't give you up! I only wish we could have wed. I wanted to be your husband." He gave her a gentle hug.  
  
"Oh Christian you are my husband. You have my heart, now and forever!" She buried her face in his chest, kissing him. Her body responded to the contact as it always did. It was electric when they touched. His body responded in kind. She could feel it as she pressed her hips against his. She began to open his bleached linen shirt. She slipped her hands past the buttons to feel the warm, smooth, muscled skin of Sonny Corinthos.  
  
Sonny gasped. What had just happened? What was happening still?   
  
He had been watching Alexis sleep. He found her tucked into a tight ball, propped up against the arm of the couch. She looked nine years old. He heard humming. Alexis was humming in her sleep, something classical, or an opera maybe. It made Sonny smile. He watched as her body slowly started to unwind and the ball she was sleeping in transformed into a loose fetal position.   
  
"I tried momma. I tried my best." She mumbled. Her hand reached out. Sonny couldn't hear everything, but it was clear she was dreaming about her mother. She WAS 9 years old, talking to her mother. It broke his heart, a nine-year-old feeling responsible for the death of her mother.   
  
Sonny's hand reached out and touched her hair. Her reaction was immediate. "Christian!" She turned in her sleep and came to rest against Sonny's chest. Christian, was he the one? Was he Alexis' first love? His arms found their way around her shoulders.   
  
"I should never have loved you." Alexis began to cry. Sonny's hands rubbed her back hoping to ease the pain. "Helena killed you because of me." His heart jumped into his throat. Christian's death was Alexis' unspoken horror. Helena murdered him! She probably arranged for Alexis to see it. Just as she had with her mother. Alexis had endured so much. Sonny wanted to comfort her, to make things a little better. He gave her a gentle hug. His world changed forever.  
  
Alexis pulled him into a lover's embrace. "Oh Christian you are my husband. You have my heart, now and forever!" Sonny's response was visceral. He wanted her. She had never touched him like that before. Now that she had, a connection had been made, a connection that ignited something powerful. He no longer had control over his body. He should be comforting his best friend, instead he felt desire, the strongest desire he had ever felt. He wanted to kiss her, hold her, touch her. She was unbuttoning his shirt! Her hands found his chest. Her sure touch thrilled him. Her hands traveled to his stomach. He was on fire.  
  
"Alexis!" His breath was ragged.   
  
"Sonny!" Her hands grew hesitant but they didn't pull away. She had reached for Christian but it was Sonny's chest he touched. She knew it was Sonny, but she had reacted with the same desire she thought she could only feel for Christian. She had other lovers in her life. She had even fallen in love again, but she never thought she would feel like this. The physical connection with Christian was so strong, so deep, she thought it was a once in a lifetime thing. But she had touched Sonny and flames shot between them. She knew he felt it too. His desire was evident. She had seen it, felt it. They both wanted more, to get closer, to burn together in white heat. He called out her name. He was having trouble breathing. She looked at her hands. They were crimson. She was surrounded by scarlet snow.  
  
Alexis' hands froze. Fear possessed her face. "Sonny don't die!"  
  
"Alexis, it's okay!" Sonny gulped in air, trying to regain control of his body. "Don't worry honey I'm okay."  
  
She was touching his chest again. Only now she was checking for wounds. When she was convinced he was unhurt, she pressed her head against his chest and sobbed. "Sonny, we can only be friends. I can't love you. Everyone I love dies."   
  
Sonny's heart ached for Alexis, for all the pain she carried. Kristina was right. Alexis was afraid to love, but he knew they could never be just friends now. After what he just experienced, he wouldn't settle for that. He intended to make things right. It all started and ended with Helena.   
  
"I'll be whatever you need me to be." Sonny's arms enveloped Alexis in a chaste embrace. He kissed the top of her head and whispered. "Don't worry honey. I'm going to make it safe for you to love again." 


End file.
